People Actually DO Read My Blog!!

Okay, okay, that's just a pure Yay Me I'm So Awesome annoying title, but I just wanted to say thanks to those who read, even the blips that you do (according to the stats I see, more than half my visitors linger for 20 second or less). Of course, I much more appreciate those who have actually read the posts and I've received a few replies about the last post on perfectionism. I hope it's helped some people out to at least consider what their stumbling blocks might be and know that there is help out there, there's nothing wrong with you, you just need to understand how you're wired and how to deal with it. I mean, isn't that what we do with other people - co-workers, family members, friends, our kids? We get to know what makes them tick and what triggers them and work with who they are.

The issue may be that it takes some pride-swallowing to admit we may not know everything about ourselves, and that talking to a professional may be warranted. I've seen this happen in physical ailments as well. It wasn't until I hurt a lot from my first pregnancy that I saw professional treatment as an important part of my health so I don't suffer further pain. It may not erase it, but if I have access to help, why not use it so I can be a better version of myself?

So after this first session (next week is my next one), I've felt less guilty, even tho I haven't done more. I'm not saying I feel great, but I do feel less of a weight on my shoulders, and that may be my first step towards being better.

On a separate note, no one voted on what song Derek came home singing! Ah well, I'll unleash this earworm onto you all anyway. May this enhance your groove this Monday, even as you roll your eyes to this cheesy 90s hit.

CAVEAT!! I'm posting the original video, which is fairly...well, there is a lot of flesh being flashed. But that's the juxtaposition for me when I hear the chorus of this song coming out of my 4-year-old's mouth! I know it was used in Madagascar but for me, this was a song which encouraged raunchiness, misogyny and just plain rudeness. For a deeper Monday thought, have you considered how you will be exposing your children to the lyrical content and intent of songs they hear?

Iron? What's an iron?

You mean that super stuff in spinach, right?

I was never super at laundry.  I got it done but when I was growing up, we never really got into the habit of sorting out and putting away our clothes.  We washed them, dried them - both in the machines of course! - then left them in the hamper to be folded, or more correctly, to be rifled through.  It would sit upstairs between the rooms and be approached in the morning for a socks, underwear, that missing t-shirt or those comfy jeans.  Even if they were folded by someone else, we would rarely claim our respective batches and just take what we needed for the day.  Horribly lazy, I know!

I'm sure if my mom or dad were reading this, they'd either be laughing at us pretty hard or hitting up another page to avoid painful memories.

Now that I'm a wife and a mom, you'd think I'd get into a better habit of getting it all done.  Um, not really!  What is really helpful to our household but not so much for me forming a habit is my husband's desire for tidiness and getting things done, so he gets to the laundry before I do.

I used to feel really bad about it but we've had a good number of discussions as we keep discovering and re-discovering what our respective strengths are.  I am good at cooking, he is good at cleaning.  I am good at making sure our clothes don't shrink, he is good with folding and sorting.  I am good at keeping the kids happy, he is good at keeping all of us on time.  Or at least, less late.  =P

I still have to keep fighting that shadow of shame that keeps lurking around my shoulder.  Can't I do better?  Can't I just get it all together?  Well, of course I can!  But I have to keep reminding myself that I would sacrifice other things in the process and we have both come to prioritize keeping our emotional and mental health rather than a really tidy home.  This doesn't mean I'm not striving to be better but I have to recognize my own boundaries and limitations (check out Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud).  I have to remember that while other people are great where I am not-so-great, I have my areas of awesomeness too.  And I'm reminded every time I'm rewarded with a super smile from one - or both! - of my kids, or I hear Derek sing out the entire Thomas & Friends Roll Call song (every word, although enunciation is a different issue!), or see Kristen reach out to hug her brother (maybe it was an arm spasm, who knows, but in my books it was a hug!).

How about you? What goals and expectations have you had to let go of?  What aspects of your home life, couple life and personal life are you prioritizing?  What advice would you have for other moms and dads to manage the chaos?