The All-important...First Post

Well, not really my first post. I was tinkering around on Wordpress (and have been for 8 months - that's how undecided I am!!) and am 95% sure I'll stick with Blogspot. I like the overall flexibility and will just have to learn some html to clean things up. If anyone wants to be my volunteer sidekick for this position, let me know!

So below is my first (and only) post from the Wordpress site, which is/was called Zombie to Mom-Me. I wanted to originally focus on hair and makeup things that I do to go from blah to... well, less blah, haha. Buuuut... I'm feeling the pressure of being a how-to site and lately, I've been going through feelings of depression and inadequacy. I just started seeing a counsellor to deal with these things - yesterday's first meet was really helpful! - so I may be able to actually post up some real how-to's. Or at least what-I-do's. Maybe that's what I'll call them!

This means this blog will change as well. As much as I want to be that cool person with all the helpful hints (which I truly believe is in there somewhere), I need to just be the person who's willing to speak up first. Hopefully along the way you'll find some coolness. Either way, I'd love to hear from you, comments or email. Yes, I'm asking for encouragement! Just hearing from someone is wonderful, so long as you aren't mean. If you're being mean, move on out. Please. With a very nice cherry on top. =D

Here we go...

Yay! Welcome to my blog! It's gonna be great! It's gonna be fun! We're going to have a baby-wonderful time! Or a mommy-wonderful time! Or a me-wonderful time! I'll fill you in on tons of tips and tricks to be the most amazeballs mom you can be with the posts of my amazeballs ideas and moments.

In between, however, I'll be posting about the days I don't want to get out of bed, or I'd like to quietly exit the front door while my kids are eating lunch and make a run for it*, or I'd spend too much time on Facebook (is that every day?), or I'm perusing the take-out menus - again! - yet begrudgingly put them back, or I'm staring at the week-old crumbs under the table (yep, you read that right, week-old).

First post - amazeballs!

You'll more likely get the latter rather than the former, but as I've read somewhere, our lives are not to be made of the mountain-highs but of the valley-mundane activities that allow us to have and appreciate the mountain-highs. This is why I've created this blog, to remind me to treasure both. If it helps others be a bit more cheerful, if only because they commiserate (or perhaps they're laughing at me instead?), then that's a great side bonus. I've delayed the start of this blog because I've wondered too much about what kind of readers I'd like to attract and what will bring up stats on my blog. I'm doing this for me, and if you'd like to join, you're very much welcome! Even if you're laughing at me, so long as you give me a virtual hug while doing so. Judgey Judgersons and Wet Blankets can move on to the next amaze-balls blog and boost their numbers instead.

And so this is it, the end of the all-important First Post. Tune in for the next post where I share a bit more about who I am. May it not sending you running away and have you hanging around for at least one more post. =)

*Of course this is said in fun; please don't take this seriously and call CAS on me! You'll come to find I'm one of the most paranoid moms out there regarding my kids and would never, ever, leave them unattended. 

Kids sing the darndest things...

So Derek was picked up by Grandma today and as he waltzed (stomped) through the door in his dancing shoes (snow-covered boots), he was singing a song that hearkened back to my high school days. The nineties. A song I relate to x-nayed gyrations encouraged at the 4-room school dance that was one of Bayview Secondary's finest nights.

For fun, I invite you to pick what song he was happily grooving to. Just try to imagine him with any of these songs without laughing. I dare you. Dare you!!

I'm trying to set up the poll within this post, but in the mean time, please check it out in the right menu!

*update* No one's voted! 29 visits and not one vote! Please look to the menu on the right, towards the top. I would love to see what other people imagined my 4-year-old to be singing!

Adventures in Potty Training! - Aft and Eve Day 1

We weren't sure how his nap was going to go, whether he'd end up sleeping at all even. Thankfully he ended up sleeping for 2.5 hrs!  These days it's usually around 1.5-2 hrs so this was a really good nap. =D

Unfortunately, Derek wasn't too happy after his nap.  He had a wet spot on the edge of the bed, wet through his shorts.  He really wanted a diaper and fought sitting on the potty but we eventually worked it out.  Whiny about playing, whiny about snacking, then settled down while I went to wash his poopy underwear.

While Benny bathed him, he actually said "Potty!" and was okay with being lifted out of the bath to sit on the regular toilet seat.  Oh, I should mention, we're not using any potty chair although we used to, we're using a potty seat which is put on top of the regular toilet seat.  We took advice from the Baby Whisperer who says that since rarely do we come across a mini toilet, why train on one?  They'll need to get used to using the regular ones.

So far his weakness is in pulling his underwear down on his own and falling asleep.  For the latter, I think he's too aware of making sure he goes to the potty so it keeps him up.  It took him awhile to go down for his nap and for night time, even though we started the bed time routine at 9:15pm (we're behind today!), he only just fell asleep at midnight. =(  We think he may have to poop but we're not leaving him to do so by himself and he's not comfortable yet on the seat.

We'll have to wait till tomorrow to see what happens!  We still have to do the night time wake up; hopefully he'll go to sleep easily enough after that. =S

Reining in all those clothes!!

I wish I was talking about my own clothes! Well, those need organizing as well but not to the extent my kids' clothes do. Since we're still considering having a 3rd kid, we're holding on to Derek and Kristen's old stuff but it's so hard to keep track of what is where.

** By the way, hello and thanks for checking in even though I have written in 3 months! Still catching my breath from the move - renting throws a whole other variable to the what-furniture-to-buy when under tight budget constraints, which puts askew what-goes-where, so we're still living with boxes - but I'm trying to gain traction again. Much has been going on in my head that I want to share and I can't wait! **

I originally bought these grey cloth storage thingies and thought they were the awesomest things ever. They're pretty spacious and....and...and!!.. they come with dividers. Dividers. I love dividers. Helps me find things. Bags with just one compartment throw me off because they're like cavernous mouths that swallow up my stuff. Dividers at least make the mouths smaller.

Anyhoo, I found out during the move that they aren't that great. We have to be gentle with them as the handles were tearing off, and I can't really see what's inside. Yes, there are windows but I have to position them a certain way in order to view them.

I've decided then to use plastic bins. I was advised by a professional organizer to get ones with straight sides so that there isn't wasted space when putting them away but I've barely had time to get the bins, never mind be uber picky. I happened to be at Target last weekend, looked at the bins and decided to go with ones which allow me to stack well. The lids allow the bottoms to nestle in and not slide around.

Since we're still adjusting to the budget of not living in a condo and have had other purchases due to the move (the Expedit cube is my new furniture fave, which I'll possibly write about in another post), I'm only going to buy a few at a time. The first ones I bought are 3 of the 60L size and a shallow one with the same perimeter dimensions.  I've started unpacking 2 grey thingies but realize I need to open up the others to see what goes in which bin. Yeah yeah, I'm a perfectionist, but I'll breathe easier once it's done. =)

In conjunction with this rearranging is my desire to inventory the clothes. Yep, I want to know exactly what baby and kid clothes I have, or at least how many of what, if not down to the colour and fabric (kidding! I don't have that much time!). I looked up any clothing inventory templates and surprisingly found very few offerings. I thought if there are tons on organizing chores and such, surely there would be a good handful on clothing inventory!

So, I decided to make my own, which is what I ended spending most of today on. I'll use these while I unpack the grey thingies and keep the sheets in a binder for easy reference for when people want to borrow things or if we have that craziness called a 3rd kid. =D

Here's a pic of my day's efforts, done in between meals and light cooking and nursing to sleep and consoling a clingy kid. Not bragging, just saying that you shouldn't expect much! At least it's useable and nice to look at. I'm hoping to make it a bit prettier and eventually purchasable on Etsy. If you're interested in a rough version tho, I'll be happy to send a copy to the first 10 people who comment!

Food ideas for kids! And in other news... we're moving!

Don't know about you but December's felt like a lifetime ago and yet I can't believe we're in January.  Much has happened and I'm feeling tired, but what keeps me going is the potential for better sleep and thus a more productive, efficient and cleaner home.  Right now it's tough to do anything while the kids are sleeping as they are just on the other side of the wall when we're doing dishes.  By the end of January, they'll be on another floor and I hope to look at an empty sink every morning!

What else happened in December?  It actually goes a bit back to November when I was trying to get my maternity leave extended.  Long story short I spent a month in vain to get another month and then had to scramble a way to get a few hours here and there under my belt to keep my job, but it had to be carefully planned to work around Derek being at Grandma's and Kristen not yet weaned.  We also went to look at a few townhouses and semi-detached houses and made a decision within the first week of December, which is incidentally when I went back to work.  Eventually we decided that it wasn't worth keeping the job because, as much as I love being a barista and having some kind of life outside of my wonderful family, it wasn't worth hiring a nanny at $14/hr while I made just over $11/hr, never mind the tiredness of a physical job then dealing with the kids.

Edit: How could I forget about the blackout due to the ice storm?  We lost power on Sunday 3:30am, made it through the day (yay for tea lights to warm up baby food!), planned to go to in-laws the next day, bundled up for sleep at night,  was woken by a fire alarm at 5am, stayed up until the fire trucks cleared, walked 22 floors down with 2 kids and light luggage, had breakfast at Cora's, then camped at my in-laws until after dinner Christmas eve.  Thankfully power came back the morning of the 24th!  Most of our fridge contents had to be chucked though, but I did save the lactose-free milk!  It was an ice block in our fridge for 2 days defrosting!  My quads, however, took about 4 days to return to normal.

So that's a bit about me going from 2013 to 2014.  We'll be moved in by the end of January and the anticipation of a fresh start to organize and clean the home has got me pretty excited!  Much packing to be done in the mean time of course.  Plus, I just found out that I might have 2 cavities and one looks pretty set in. =S  Hopefully that will be dealt with quickly and with little pain.

As for the part of this post that would be helpful to you, my dear reader, I have stumbled across this truly great post by another blogger for ideas on food to feed the little ones with tips on storing them for quick access.  I can't wait to put this in action in my new kitchen!  My husband usually handles Derek's food and I'm dealing with Kristen but now that she's eating more solids, I hope to have more prepared so we can have more variety and more healthy options.

Here's the link, and here's a blurb from the post by Lisa Leake:

1. Whole-Wheat Pancakes or Waffles.
   We use these to make sandwiches with all sorts of fillings like cream cheese, jam, cinnamon, raisins, and even peanut butter (or other nut butters).
   
     
2. Spaghetti and Meatballs.
   Our family thinks homemade meatballs are pretty awesome. Combine them with cooked whole-grain noodles and organic sauce and freeze them in a jar – you now have yourself a lunch to get excited about. (See freezing notes above.)
   

Derek loves his waffles so a waffle sandwich will be right up his alley, and I'll finally get to use the waffle-maker Benny got me last year!

How about you?  What tips do you have for feeding your kids? Which recipe or suggestion are you eager to try from Lisa's post?  What's been your greatest challenge in getting them kids fed?

#NotYourAsianSidekick and Mommying

I stumbled upon this interview with Suey Park who wanted to start a conversation about Asian Americans and their struggle with fitting into the Western culture - or to be more ... [dangit, having a mommy-brain moment... that word describing language which is less formal, more conversational... along the lines of "vernacular"... but not that word... ack!!]... well, anyway, a less PC way of describing it could be "Whitewashed: To be or not to be, that is the Asian-American question."  (Please don't take me literally, it's not literally "the" question, but a huge one nonetheless).

I haven't read much more than the interview (click here) but it made me start thinking about the struggle as a mom to balance between the Western and Eastern cultures.  Rice with everything? Speak only Cantonese at home? Bowl hair cuts? Wok rules the kitchen? Those are just a few questions off the top of my head, not necessarily deep/feminist ones or ones which I personally struggle with, but some to get thoughts spinning in your mind hopefully.

Here's a clip of the interview to wet your interest:

What are you saying to those on Twitter who are claiming #NotYourAsianSidekick is generalizing white peoples’ attitudes in particular towards Asian American women? 

I think a lot of white people have a visceral reaction to the fact that they belong to a structural whiteness. But I think it shows us something really important, which is that fraction of discomfort is nothing compared to a lifetime of being racialized and put in a subordinate class of people in the U.S., so when it comes to that and I compare the two I really don’t feel bad at all.
I also think it’s really ironic that this hashtag was going on for days and that people couldn’t even learn enough to think about what it means to them in their own lives. Immediately I’ve become the cool Asian friend and all of my Facebook friends who thought I was really annoying for talking about racism, my feelings and my eating disorder are somehow now tokenizing me as a successful Asian American woman. I mean, how token is that?

When tiredness and frustration get the better of me...

.... I did what I never thought I'd do: I grabbed my son by the shoulders, shook him a bit and said quietly but fiercely, "Be quiet!!!".

See, I got my daughter down to sleep and was looking forward to spending some time with my son as we cleaned up his toys.  He got all whiny and I was afraid his protestations would wake up his sister.  After the usual requests to whisper and be quieter met with more whining, I got frustrated.  It was coupled with lack of sleep and lack of productivity due to the two kids' lack of sleeping.  Seeing the end of the day coming down, looking forward to just kicking it back, if even for an hour, I let slip the control I've been holding on to for the last 10 hours.

So I shook my son.  Just a bit, but I shook him.  And I saw the stunned look on his face.  I saw the fear of me creeping in his eyes.  And I saw his mouth twist as he said "I want to play with Daddy!  I want to play with Daddy!!" - which was essentially saying, he didn't want to be with me anymore.

That really sucked on all kinds of levels. But I couldn't take time to recover what I lost between us as I had to rush him to our bedroom so his sister wouldn't wake up.  Being in a condo with 2 kids with 2 different bed times is tough!  It was in vain, though, as she awoke and sat up crying pretty hard.

And there went my hour of productivity.  My hour of kicking back?  Well, I didnt' really but I didnt' do anything productive either.  I just vegged.  Emotionally, I've just been worn out today. But I wanted to take some time to share this experience because I'm sure it happens to more parents than not, and it's not something we talk about.  It's not something to be proud of, to lose control, no matter how little and no matter how small the actual action.  I wish so much I could rewrite those 5 seconds instead of having to mend the emotional damage between us.  Call me oversensitive but I know my son, and I know something was lost when I shook him and shushed him.

Le sigh.  Tomorrow is another day.  May it be miles better than this one. =(

How about you?  Have you done anything you wish you could take back? Was there a moment between you and your child that hit you to the core?