Baby Wearing Part 2a: Healthy Baby Wearing

Before continuing on about my journey on baby wearing, and specifically with woven wraps, I thought I'd share what healthy baby wearing is.

There are many more carriers out there than even 5 years ago, or at least they are more widely known. The internet has definitely expanded the reach of markets across the globe, and fans of Tula, Beco, Ergo and Kinderpack have been posting pictures of themselves with their babes and the carrier with the print they oh-so-love.

But there are still some people who are risking their baby's health when carrying in certain ways. This is a touchy subject, as many informed parents wonder if they should ever approach another parent who may be wearing their child in a less-than-optimal position. On one hand, baby wearing is great so perhaps we should leave well enough alone. On the other hand, many of us say that if we were informed by another well-meaning parent, we would be grateful!

So, my passive-agressive way is to blog about it. =P Not like I know anyone who does so incorrectly anyway, but if you're baby wearing and unsure about the position, or looking to start and are learning the ropes, this post is for you.

WHY WEAR A BABY?

Firstly, why wear a baby? We can leave them in a stroller or put them in the crib or bouncer... but we all know there are many, many moments when babies just want to be held. And that's natural! They were in a small, cozy, dark space for so long and all of a sudden projected into a loud world with their limbs flailing. For at least the first 4 months, they will want to keep being in a place which simulates the environment they were in for 9 months. That's understandable, isn't it? Even after they get to know the world as we know it, there's a lot to take in and learn, and being near us, their parents, is a refuge.

Here is a post by Babywearing International which gives the benefits of baby wearing. Here are my bullet points of the page:

Happy Babies - they like being held! Great for colicky babies
Healthy Babies - being physically close helps baby regulate own physical responses, especially premies/special needs
Confident Parents - learning to read cues
Loving Caregivers - babies come to recognize their caregivers
Comfort and Convenience - can go about chores and tasks more easily

HOW TO WEAR A BABY?

You can refer to the poster above as provided by Health Canada, or you can learn to remember your TICKS!

Tight
In view at all times
Close enough to kiss
Keep chin off the chest
Supported back

Further explanations on the TICKS poster below. Click here for a link to the full version.

Note: "Supported back" used to say "Supported straight back" (emphasis mine) but for a baby, a curved back is more natural to their growth. Keep that baby's spine curved!

Kristen sleeping in the Moby while I eat... something. LOL.
But note the TICKS!

DANGERS TO BABY WEARING?

Here is what Health Canada has put up as warnings. My own thoughts in italics below each point taken from that page.

Serious injuries and deaths can occur when:

• the wearer trips and the baby falls out of the sling or carrier
• Falling out can also happen to babies in a stroller, and particularly to babies who are in infant seats precariously placed on top of grocery carts. I've seen so many babies balanced that way, and so many kids not strapped into their stroller and pretty much falling out! I don't see how a sling or carrier is more dangerous.
• the product malfunctions or its hardware breaks
• This can happen - and has happened - in strollers as well. This is, however, why it is SO important to get a high quality carrier. Woven wraps are not simply "another piece of fabric" or a table cloth or a bed sheet. I'll get into it in another post but there is much more care that goes into a woven wrap and soft structured carriers!
• the baby falls over the side of the sling or out through the leg openings
• Which is why learning how to use the carrier properly is necessary. As I mentioned before, I've seen babies and older children practically falling out of their stroller due to manufacturer's lack of foresight (Graco had a tray without a middle piece to meet the stroller so kids - unstrapped, mind you! - would slip right down and through) or simply due to parents not buckling their children in. No one has cried out "Danger!" on strollers.
• the baby is positioned incorrectly, causing suffocation against the product's fabric, the wearer's body, or their own chest
• I refer you back to the TICKS! Along with that is keeping the child's legs in the "M" or "frog-legged" position, which will be discussed below.

So what does unhealthy baby wearing look like? Tune in to my next post! And before you think I'm judging, I'll be posting up pictures of my unhealthy baby wearing. Most times it's just a matter of learning the correct way. Not all carrier manufacturers will tell you the right way to carry, just the right way to use their product. So let's all learn and promote healthy babies!

Baby Wearing Part 1: My Journey

Long time no post! Sorries and apologies... life happened and I fell off the blogging wagon. Again. Le sigh.

And life goes on. It's just blogging after all!

If we know each other on Facebook, you probably know that I've been swimming into the world of woven wraps. I've used baby carriers before and still have one, but after reading about and trying woven wraps, I really wish I had known about them 5 years ago!

I won't go terribly into depth here, but my baby wearing journey is as follows:

Moby wrap
Pouch sling
Britax carrier
Tula (standard)
Leo Storchenwiege (5/6)
Didymos Cotton Indio (6)
Didymos Hemp Indio (3)
Didymos Nino Rose (7 - was supposed to be a 5!)
Didymos Kurbis Wool (2)

 

L: Kristen kept nice and snuggly while I get to eat!
R: Kristen nursing while I spend time with Derek.

Why have I been switching over to wovens? Firstly, I love their versatility. I thought wraps were more like the Moby, which were hot to use even with my winter babies and so long - fabric was everywhere! That's why I went with the pouch sling, for quick ins and outs before my baby could walk, but I found it straining on the shoulder. I also couldn't use it after baby was a certain weight and size. Moby also has its limitations; even though it advertises use up to 35 lbs, many (including me) have found that it starts sagging after about 15 lbs of weight because of the stretch, requiring me to readjust and retie every 10-15 mins. Not a productive way to spend my time!

  

Derek at 8 months, about 18 lbs?

I then found out about the pouch sling, and I was really intrigued because it would allow me to  I could pop my baby in and out for quick trips to stores or when he was fussing and wanted out of the stroller. While it kept my hands free and was easy to put on, I found it strained my shoulder quite a bit and decided to stop using it.

Kristen snoozing from a walk, me imitating her.
I would NOT recommend outward-facing carrying.

When I found out I was expecting my second, The Britax carrier came out and I got really excited. I had heard that the Baby Bjorn was not the most comfortable due to insufficient lumbar support and spreading of the weight across larger portions of the wearer's body, like the shoulders and back. Britax addressed all of that and I was so excited to find a brand new one including the toddler insert for a fantastic price on Kijiji.

I used both the Moby and Britax with my second. Moby was during the infant months, Britax from about 4 months onward. It allowed me to breastfeed almost arms-free while I spent time with my toddler. We could read together, takes walks out, and I could do chores (hehe, if I wanted to!).

I learned about hip dysplasia not long after and decided I wasn't going to have my child outward-facing. I continued to use the Britax but would have Kristen facing inward, which she didn't appreciate as she wanted to look around. That was difficult to do with the padded structure of the Britax.

http://theportablebaby.com/carrierfeatures.html

Kristen in a standard-sized Tula.

I didn't start looking into other carrier options until my second child was about 18 months and thought about the possibility of walking with her to pick up my eldest from school. I knew I'd need something more comfortable and, even better, could do a back carry. I came across the Tula, along with the Beco and others, and decided on the Tula for the possibility of carrying my eldest in it as well, since it has a larger panel than most.

I got the Tula, I loved the Tula, still love the Tula, but once I found out I was pregnant with my third, realized that I may need to somehow juggle three - three!! - kids at the same time and it would be great if I could wear the younger two and hold the older one's hand. I could get another Tula but they aren't recommended until an infant is 8 lbs and may still require an insert because infants are tiny and, as mentioned, Tula panels are large. Ideally a child's position will have the knees higher than the bum, but with a large panel and small legs, the legs will just stick straight out.

Tula sleepy dust!
I put the hood up afterwards to hold her head.

I saw a picture of a friend on Facebook wearing both her kids with wraps, a newborn and her toddler. I was in awe and completely intrigued. They looked so comfortable and happy. And so snuggly! But I didn't really consider wraps until I heard more moms recommending them in Facebook parenting groups. I finally took the plunge and goodness, is there a LOT to learn!

It's not only about how to use them, but once you start, everyone has different preferences, and there are a plethora of wraps available to meet everyone's preferences, no matter how nuanced. From thickness/thinness, breathability in summers to warmth in winter, grip to slipperiness, bounce/stretch to very little give... and all of those are put in consideration with who is wearing AND who is being worn. I'll describe more in the the dedicated wraps post, but carrying a newborn is different from a 6-month-old, which is different from a 1-yr-old, which is different from a toddler/walker, which is different from a preschooler (yes, you can carry preschoolers!). More support is needed with more weight, but walking kids may end up being in and out of wraps requiring quick ups/downs and even better, pre-tying. All of these are affected by the different weaves and fabric blends available along with what size is used.

Carrying Derek in my first attempt at a ruck carry with a
size 3 Didymos ETHI (Emerald Turquoise Hemp Indio).
Note: The right shows how inexperienced I am as his "seat" is coming undone!

With all that consideration comes the many brands offered, just like baby food - or say, buying gardening tools, or power tools. Each brand has their reason for distinction, as well as varying price tags. I've chosen to stick with Didymos, mainly because I love their patterns and colours and they aren't as expensive as some other brands. I know if I start dipping into other brands I'll be racking up wraps like crazy!

So that's it for now. I'll try to put up a stash shot of my carriers* and wraps for reference. =) Stay tuned for my next post on healthy baby wearing!

*If they aren't sold first

People Actually DO Read My Blog!!

Okay, okay, that's just a pure Yay Me I'm So Awesome annoying title, but I just wanted to say thanks to those who read, even the blips that you do (according to the stats I see, more than half my visitors linger for 20 second or less). Of course, I much more appreciate those who have actually read the posts and I've received a few replies about the last post on perfectionism. I hope it's helped some people out to at least consider what their stumbling blocks might be and know that there is help out there, there's nothing wrong with you, you just need to understand how you're wired and how to deal with it. I mean, isn't that what we do with other people - co-workers, family members, friends, our kids? We get to know what makes them tick and what triggers them and work with who they are.

The issue may be that it takes some pride-swallowing to admit we may not know everything about ourselves, and that talking to a professional may be warranted. I've seen this happen in physical ailments as well. It wasn't until I hurt a lot from my first pregnancy that I saw professional treatment as an important part of my health so I don't suffer further pain. It may not erase it, but if I have access to help, why not use it so I can be a better version of myself?

So after this first session (next week is my next one), I've felt less guilty, even tho I haven't done more. I'm not saying I feel great, but I do feel less of a weight on my shoulders, and that may be my first step towards being better.

On a separate note, no one voted on what song Derek came home singing! Ah well, I'll unleash this earworm onto you all anyway. May this enhance your groove this Monday, even as you roll your eyes to this cheesy 90s hit.

CAVEAT!! I'm posting the original video, which is fairly...well, there is a lot of flesh being flashed. But that's the juxtaposition for me when I hear the chorus of this song coming out of my 4-year-old's mouth! I know it was used in Madagascar but for me, this was a song which encouraged raunchiness, misogyny and just plain rudeness. For a deeper Monday thought, have you considered how you will be exposing your children to the lyrical content and intent of songs they hear?

Wanting, But Not Getting, Things Done

I thought I was just a procrastinator. I can usually pull off things at the last minute and still do a satisfactory job. Or, I stay up late (like I am right now - it's 3:20am) and suffer the consequences in the morning. Yeah, not the coolest way to live.

Especially as a mom! There are so many things to do (like my kid's lunch... dang, just realized I forgot that!!) and procrastinating just makes it worse. And these are things that I want to do. I mean, I don't love doing chores but I like seeing things completed and done well. And yet I put things off, filling my time with Facebook and Huff posts and whatever Buzzfeed is feeding me that day.

In November I hit a low. I realize now that it was a combination of less help (my mother-in-law was on vacation and she usually watches my older one for a night or two a week - so helpful!), the mundane routine due to less flexibility in the schedule, the increasingly shorter days and colder weather, and hormones getting into the mix. We confirmed in December that we're pregnant with our third - yay chaos!! - and I'm sure the cocktail of chemicals let loose did not help me.

I realized I needed help. Not hire-a-maid help, which would definitely be helpful, but something inside of me felt broken and needed fixing. I pondered throughout December and decided in January that I would go seek counselling. I've done so before when I hit a wall during my studies at Tyndale and it helped a lot to have a third party to talk to.

I am so glad I decided to go. I've had my first appointment already and tearily vented my frustration with being unproductive, overwhelmed, depressed, wanting relief, wondering why I couldn't just get things done, wondering why I was always escaping. What the counsellor suggested is that I might be a perfectionist.

What?? But aren't perfectionists people who get things done?? If you walk through the current state of my home, I am nowhere near that. However, it's my need for wanting things "just so" which keeps me from starting sometimes. I'd rather fail at starting than fail at the project or task itself. Reflecting on that statement, it's so true that I have to laugh at how silly it sounds, and yet it really is a problem, especially when, as a parent, there are so many things that need to get done, never mind started!!

I just wanted to share this because i'm sure there are many parents out there who are perfectionists. I hope to share more of my journey with you so you know that you're not alone and that you're not messed up. You just need to understand how your wired and work it out to your advantage. I tackled being wired as an introvert during my first maternity leave and that was so liberating. I can't wait to see what I learn about perfectionism and how I can get unstuck!

I've yet to have my second appointment but in the mean time, I've been recommended to read Never Good Enough by Monica Ramirez Basod. It's available on bookoutlets.ca for a very discounted price and if you pick up a few other books for your kids, the shipping is worth the cost.

So that explains a bit as to why my posts are few and far between. Not excusing, just explaining. I wait for the perfect time, the perfect mindset, the perfect topic, yadda yadda... right now, I just yelled "Carpe diem!" - well, really, "Carpe noctem!", considering the hour - and really, yelled in my head, since the kids are asleep - and just started typing this post. I'm proud of myself for getting this out. I'm not proud of myself for procrastinating on the night's chores and getting less sleep for the 3rd night in a row, but let's try to stay on the positive side of things, eh?

And how, to check off another item on my list and make my kid's lunch. =) Better late tonight than rushed tomorrow!

The All-important...First Post

Well, not really my first post. I was tinkering around on Wordpress (and have been for 8 months - that's how undecided I am!!) and am 95% sure I'll stick with Blogspot. I like the overall flexibility and will just have to learn some html to clean things up. If anyone wants to be my volunteer sidekick for this position, let me know!

So below is my first (and only) post from the Wordpress site, which is/was called Zombie to Mom-Me. I wanted to originally focus on hair and makeup things that I do to go from blah to... well, less blah, haha. Buuuut... I'm feeling the pressure of being a how-to site and lately, I've been going through feelings of depression and inadequacy. I just started seeing a counsellor to deal with these things - yesterday's first meet was really helpful! - so I may be able to actually post up some real how-to's. Or at least what-I-do's. Maybe that's what I'll call them!

This means this blog will change as well. As much as I want to be that cool person with all the helpful hints (which I truly believe is in there somewhere), I need to just be the person who's willing to speak up first. Hopefully along the way you'll find some coolness. Either way, I'd love to hear from you, comments or email. Yes, I'm asking for encouragement! Just hearing from someone is wonderful, so long as you aren't mean. If you're being mean, move on out. Please. With a very nice cherry on top. =D

Here we go...

Yay! Welcome to my blog! It's gonna be great! It's gonna be fun! We're going to have a baby-wonderful time! Or a mommy-wonderful time! Or a me-wonderful time! I'll fill you in on tons of tips and tricks to be the most amazeballs mom you can be with the posts of my amazeballs ideas and moments.

In between, however, I'll be posting about the days I don't want to get out of bed, or I'd like to quietly exit the front door while my kids are eating lunch and make a run for it*, or I'd spend too much time on Facebook (is that every day?), or I'm perusing the take-out menus - again! - yet begrudgingly put them back, or I'm staring at the week-old crumbs under the table (yep, you read that right, week-old).

First post - amazeballs!

You'll more likely get the latter rather than the former, but as I've read somewhere, our lives are not to be made of the mountain-highs but of the valley-mundane activities that allow us to have and appreciate the mountain-highs. This is why I've created this blog, to remind me to treasure both. If it helps others be a bit more cheerful, if only because they commiserate (or perhaps they're laughing at me instead?), then that's a great side bonus. I've delayed the start of this blog because I've wondered too much about what kind of readers I'd like to attract and what will bring up stats on my blog. I'm doing this for me, and if you'd like to join, you're very much welcome! Even if you're laughing at me, so long as you give me a virtual hug while doing so. Judgey Judgersons and Wet Blankets can move on to the next amaze-balls blog and boost their numbers instead.

And so this is it, the end of the all-important First Post. Tune in for the next post where I share a bit more about who I am. May it not sending you running away and have you hanging around for at least one more post. =)

*Of course this is said in fun; please don't take this seriously and call CAS on me! You'll come to find I'm one of the most paranoid moms out there regarding my kids and would never, ever, leave them unattended. 

Kids sing the darndest things...

So Derek was picked up by Grandma today and as he waltzed (stomped) through the door in his dancing shoes (snow-covered boots), he was singing a song that hearkened back to my high school days. The nineties. A song I relate to x-nayed gyrations encouraged at the 4-room school dance that was one of Bayview Secondary's finest nights.

For fun, I invite you to pick what song he was happily grooving to. Just try to imagine him with any of these songs without laughing. I dare you. Dare you!!

I'm trying to set up the poll within this post, but in the mean time, please check it out in the right menu!

*update* No one's voted! 29 visits and not one vote! Please look to the menu on the right, towards the top. I would love to see what other people imagined my 4-year-old to be singing!

Adventures in Potty Training! - Aft and Eve Day 1

We weren't sure how his nap was going to go, whether he'd end up sleeping at all even. Thankfully he ended up sleeping for 2.5 hrs!  These days it's usually around 1.5-2 hrs so this was a really good nap. =D

Unfortunately, Derek wasn't too happy after his nap.  He had a wet spot on the edge of the bed, wet through his shorts.  He really wanted a diaper and fought sitting on the potty but we eventually worked it out.  Whiny about playing, whiny about snacking, then settled down while I went to wash his poopy underwear.

While Benny bathed him, he actually said "Potty!" and was okay with being lifted out of the bath to sit on the regular toilet seat.  Oh, I should mention, we're not using any potty chair although we used to, we're using a potty seat which is put on top of the regular toilet seat.  We took advice from the Baby Whisperer who says that since rarely do we come across a mini toilet, why train on one?  They'll need to get used to using the regular ones.

So far his weakness is in pulling his underwear down on his own and falling asleep.  For the latter, I think he's too aware of making sure he goes to the potty so it keeps him up.  It took him awhile to go down for his nap and for night time, even though we started the bed time routine at 9:15pm (we're behind today!), he only just fell asleep at midnight. =(  We think he may have to poop but we're not leaving him to do so by himself and he's not comfortable yet on the seat.

We'll have to wait till tomorrow to see what happens!  We still have to do the night time wake up; hopefully he'll go to sleep easily enough after that. =S